At the risk of sounding like Derek Zoolander, I am going to ask this question in hopes of finding an answer: Who am I?

I wish that I could learn to relax. I need to not take things so personally and just laugh them off. How do I do that?

I need to learn to be happy with who I am and if things aren't going my way in life I need to take charge and change them. If only it were that easy.

There are so many things always rolling around in my head: doubts, fears, uncertainty. Why do I feel I don't deserve good things to happen to me, that I don't deserve to feel happy? Everyone deserves a little happiness in their lives, heck they deserve a lot of happiness in their lives. Now if only I knew how to get it. How to love myself and appreciate myself.

I need to learn to be my own person and not rely on others so much but still know they are there when I need them and that I am not an inconvenience. That I am worth something. My opinion matters and I need to speak my mind no matter what others may think of me.

Why are some people born so confident and self-sufficient and just generally likeable people and then others are so unsure of themselves (guess which I am)?

I just feel so lost...

I am not sure the answer to any of these but I know these are the things I really need to work on so any help is much appreciated :) (so far not off to a good start on the being my own person and not relying on other people. Oh well I guess we all have to start somewhere...)

G.P. Are you with me?

So yesterday I went to what could possibly be there very last Sonics game ever at the Key Arena. I spent over $200.00 on two tickets and then I almost didn't go because Anthony and I were fighting. The game started at 6:00 and I think we finally left the apartment at 6:10. We made it to the game two minutes into the second quarter but who should walk in right before us? Gary Payton!! He sat seven rows right in front of me. Literally not seven rows up and three sections over he was right in front of me. I love Gary Payton! He is my all time favorite basketball player. He signed some autographs for people but I was too big of a wuss to go ask him because there were cops making people leave him alone but the few that snuck through he happily signed and posed for pictures. He is so awesome!! Of course Anthony forgot his camera so this is all I could get from my crappy 1.3 megapixel cell phone camera.

Ok here is a better picture of The Glove at the game that was taken by somebody at the Seattle Times.

I am finally doing it...

I am going back to school!! I have finally decided on what I want to do with my life! I am going back to school to study Nutrition. I am also interested in becoming a personal trainer as well. I am starting off slow and just taking a couple of classes at BCC. It will take awhile but at least I have finally made a decision that I feel good about it and that makes me very happy and excited!